Whose Are You?

Romans · Romans 14 · October 4, 2026

Why do Christians argue so much, and how do we stop?

“What causes quarrels and fights among you?” Jesus’ brother asked that question in James 4:1. Too often the answer is fights between Christians over how we worship, what we eat, what we celebrate, and what we think is right or wrong.

In Romans 14, Paul tackles one of the most common struggles in the Christian life: how to treat each other when we disagree. He starts with this: “Accept other believers who are weak in the faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong” (Romans 14:1). Notice he says what they think is right or wrong, not what is right or wrong.

Truth, conscience and freedom

Our faith is built on three different things: biblical truth, personal conscience and spiritual freedom.

Biblical truth is solid and unchanging. It’s God’s Word in black and white: have no other gods, do not murder, do not steal. “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever” (Isaiah 40:8).

Conscience is personal conviction. Some believers in Rome ate only vegetables, and some honored special days. Today it might be alcohol, holidays or worship styles. Paul says, “Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t” (Romans 14:3). Left unchecked, conscience can turn into legalism, the very thing Jesus warned the Pharisees about in Matthew 23.

Freedom is individual liberty. “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Galatians 5:1). But freedom comes with a responsibility: don’t judge those with stricter convictions, and don’t let your freedom cause someone else to stumble (Romans 14:13–15). Left unchecked, freedom can drift into walking away from the faith altogether.

Four ways to live it out

1. Find the balance. Work out your own salvation (Philippians 2:12) and trade the magnifying glass you point at others for a mirror. Like Paul, become “all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some” (1 Corinthians 9:22).

2. Work for peace. “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification” (Romans 14:19). “Blessed are the peacemakers” (Matthew 5:9).

3. Focus on biblical truth. Major in the majors. If the Bible is silent on something, maybe we should be quieter about it too.

4. Remember whose you are. “Whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord” (Romans 14:8). You were bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20), and so was the person you disagree with. So “let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall” (Romans 14:13).

Life Group questions

Getting to Know You

  1. What is a freedom or luxury you are grateful to have that not everyone in the world has?

Diggin’ Deeper

  1. Romans 14:8 says, “Whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” What does it practically mean to you to remember that you belong to Jesus in the way you make everyday decisions?
  2. What is the difference between biblical truth, personal conscience, and Christian freedom? Why is it dangerous to look down on someone whose personal conviction is different from yours?
  3. Paul challenges us to not use our freedom in a way that causes another believer to stumble. Can you think of a situation where you might have the freedom to do something, but choosing not to do it could help someone else spiritually?

Keepin’ It Real

  1. Romans 14 calls us to be peacemakers, and Romans 8–10 reminds us that our lives should point people toward Christ. Is there an area of your life where you need to give up a preference, exercise more grace, or put someone else first so that you can be a better peacemaker and witness for Jesus?
  2. What is a daily or weekly task that you already do that, with a minor change, could glorify God? What is the change that needs to happen?

Scripture references

Romans 14 · James 4:1 · Psalm 119:89 · Isaiah 40:8 · Matthew 24:35 · Romans 14:22–23 · 1 Corinthians 8:1–13 · Matthew 23:23 · Galatians 5:1 · Matthew 7:1–5 · 2 Timothy 3:1–5 · Philippians 2:12–13 · 1 Corinthians 9:19–23 · Romans 12:18 · Ephesians 4:2 · Matthew 5:9 · 1 Corinthians 6:19–20 · 1 Corinthians 10:25–31

More from Romans

New here? Plan your visit. Sundays at 8:45, 10:30 and 12:15 in Henderson, NV.